The broken
is a land of culture and differentiation
this is a land of right, and a land of wrong. this is a land of dreams, but mostly harsh reality
Monsters roam for flaws, and cover ups
watcihng for their prey
the minority, visions of pain
small huffs of glory
hands with calluses shows you tough exterior
and yet an emotionally rough interior
yes! i have reached you! i haev made it in this world!
oh, the triumph i am consuming! my cry of joy is audible.
will you praise me also?
but wait, in case of an overdose please get medical help or contact a poison control center.
where is this warning label on the side of my bottle of life?
no where.
so i call the keeper. the chaser. the molder. the creator.
So i pray. head down.
Tell me of my boxes and boxes of insecurity, my straight lines of no originality.
he tells me;
They are made of nothing, they are invisible
and i tell him
this is almost as much of bullshit as nightmares and televangelists
(although to me they fall under the same category)
So, steadily i hold on for the ride. Is it true? yes its true!
we all dream! we all hate! we all have talent!
and yet, we all fade away.
the so called goals we reach, are far to impotent.
yes its true! my heart beats and pumps blood.
the blood of a winner!
the blood of a loser.
the blood of experience!
the blood of innocence.
so let ME tell you! i know that breathing is a gift.
and singing is a talent.
let me express myself! to use my gift, and work for my talent.
so i breathe, and i hold on.
i need you, i need you.
security security. holds me high!
you are my spine.
so stop! listen to me!
i am no longer incogneto.
you're there, im there.
so lets be HERE.
halt! my heart is no longer a military.
bah bump. bah bump. bah bump.
it is a rythm, a rhythm of life.
study study! you'll never know, until you force yourself to know.
when they say you'll remember it, you'll remember it.
its profound, i promise.
tendencies:
to exclude people due to religion/lack of money/race/looks and style/weight.
we all have traditions.
look into international studies?
and trust me,
everyone feels pain.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
good morning
good evening
which one is it?
oh well all i know is i had a good night and im going to bed
tonight ill dream of sweet things
of dew on grass
and humble monsters
and cinnamon rolls
and comfy blankets
the simple pleasures of life
so...goodnight/day/evening/morning/afternoon
which one is it?
oh well all i know is i had a good night and im going to bed
tonight ill dream of sweet things
of dew on grass
and humble monsters
and cinnamon rolls
and comfy blankets
the simple pleasures of life
so...goodnight/day/evening/morning/afternoon
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Time
Flee
Time gets away from me
Far away
Teach those who dont know
Falling in
The rights that i have leave me
Sleeping late
Waking up
Sapping in my blanket
Wishing i was sleeping
Satisfaction of yawns
Wrongs and rights
Caving into
Boxes and Boxes
Creeping onto
Balanced Hope
Coping with
Breaking Faith
Never again
Dont tear me apart
Nostalgic for some
Derailed from others
Nooks of memories
Draped over that picture
Time gets away from me
Far away
Teach those who dont know
Falling in
The rights that i have leave me
Sleeping late
Waking up
Sapping in my blanket
Wishing i was sleeping
Satisfaction of yawns
Wrongs and rights
Caving into
Boxes and Boxes
Creeping onto
Balanced Hope
Coping with
Breaking Faith
Never again
Dont tear me apart
Nostalgic for some
Derailed from others
Nooks of memories
Draped over that picture
Monday, February 9, 2009
captain planet
stop sign
stop
green light
go
your face
sink
my feet
stare
my hands
work
your face
change
water
gulp
queen size
sleep
your face
blink
pen
splash
paper
write
your face
drawn
doorknob
open
doorway
close
your face
covered
my eyes
tired
my mouth
yawn
your face
bright
you know darn well baby,
stop
green light
go
your face
sink
my feet
stare
my hands
work
your face
change
water
gulp
queen size
sleep
your face
blink
pen
splash
paper
write
your face
drawn
doorknob
open
doorway
close
your face
covered
my eyes
tired
my mouth
yawn
your face
bright
you know darn well baby,
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Simulated Sunshine
supposed to have made me more purky.
supposed to keep me feeling good about myself.
simulated sunshine.
simulated warmth.
simulated happiness.
throw me aside please, i know its how you do it.
as long as my parents are happy, than apparently im happy.
keep your simulated sunshine to yourself,
shoved up your ass.
finished Monday, November 03, 2008
Paranoia
of the things
the minor things
the major things
the things we could've changed
the things we can't change
Paranoia
that you're slipping away
away from my grip
of the fact that i cant hold on to both at once
Paranoia
that i'll choose the wrong one
that i'll hurt
that i cant go back
that i probably wont go back
Paranoia
that you'll see me for me
or that you'll want too
or that you could care less
or that i cant make up my mind
or just of paranoia
paranoid of paranoia
Finished Friday, October 31, 2008
the minor things
the major things
the things we could've changed
the things we can't change
Paranoia
that you're slipping away
away from my grip
of the fact that i cant hold on to both at once
Paranoia
that i'll choose the wrong one
that i'll hurt
that i cant go back
that i probably wont go back
Paranoia
that you'll see me for me
or that you'll want too
or that you could care less
or that i cant make up my mind
or just of paranoia
paranoid of paranoia
Finished Friday, October 31, 2008
the sanity
the drab.
the colorless.
the airheads.
if you know me
you know i drag my feet everyday
my daily routine
only a dark reminder
of how much this age is ridiculous
fear
of money
of future
of making it
dont ask me for advice,
im the one that needs it
the colorless.
the airheads.
if you know me
you know i drag my feet everyday
my daily routine
only a dark reminder
of how much this age is ridiculous
fear
of money
of future
of making it
dont ask me for advice,
im the one that needs it
I'm going through and awkward phase
I'm going through an awkward phase.
Lying to my parents is crucial.
Overanalyzing everything is crucial.
Girlfriends are the worst friends.
Teenager habits aren't just gross, but disgusting.
Being in love sounds right, but fucking around sounds better.
I seem to be trying to find my brighter side, but while seeking, becoming more negative.
Unity seems to be all that's important, but most of us are just MIA anyways. Unfortunately, if you aren't sexually active, you are making a faux pas.
Style seems as important as world hunger.
Dick size seems more important than heart size.
Being gay is no longer revolting to the community anymore. But, yes, 'gay' and 'faggot' are still insults.
Having a boyfriend in high school means nothing.
But dating someone socially acceptable does.
Being socially accepted is like a strive for water in a desert .
Fawning over on person is now creepy, no longer flattering.
Staying awake seems to be difficult.
The strive to be heartfelt and warm is almost like trying to get a teacher to forget about politics.
If one thing is important, it's the way we understand each other. Or maybe the way we all connect and are so correspondent to each other that its almost like a puzzle.
There are simple pleasures in peoples lives.
Like a bowl of ice cream, or a glass of water after running, or a blanket when its just a little below comfortable temperature.
As humans, its natural to want completely unnecessary things
Unfortunately, has humans we don't really have moral limitations
So, unfortunately, we get every little thing we ask for.
Its as if we don't have a reason to not pay attention.
No reason to question
Im going through an awkward phase.
I'm immune to drugs, now more than ever
And unfortunately immune doesn't mean intimidated by
Right now, whatever feels good, must be right
There are fuck buddies, and hardcore commitment
But sadly no in between.
You could never guess my age at first glance.
If I could get my purity back, I wouldn't.
For example of my sympathy, a disaster is only that bad IF you make it bad.
Don't tell me secrets, tell me words that make sense.
Tell me things that are open and not ashamed
To make a production, hat its supposed to be
You need dedication, talent, self discipline, and moral limitations.
Whats the difference between self discipline and moral limitations? Truthfully none.
The only reason we have moral limitations is because a scale of confidence vulnerability is the reason some people have no confidence.
The higher confidence you have, the higher your moral limitations are set. Something to think about;
If you think of yourself as santa claus, always giving, but no taking, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
If you think of yourself like an airess, always taking and no giving, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
If you need a motivation to someone, (a certain appearance, an attidute, or even a way of thinking) there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
If you are a human, who read these thoughts, and considered yourself lacking of those flaws. There isn't just something seriously wrong with you, you're just messed up.
Im going through and awkward phase.
Every strange circumstance is just a happening of my misconceptions
A result of my miscalculations, forget about plans, but don't go unstructured
Has our cilization grown?
Sure ill give you that. But if it weren't for a random natural disaster or a murder for our community to just bounce back into reality and realize we have imperfections. And there are other people that need assistance?
That like us, have flaws, but they're life affecting flaws, ones that they can't help.
Not necessarily personal flaws, but wordly flaws.
If you feel ashamed, its not worth it.
If your neck hurts, stop looking down so much.
If your legs hurt, stop overrunning.
And if your back hurts, stop bending over everyday.
If your knees hurt, simply stop falling over so much
Maybe, can emotions be an optical illusion? Could you be feeling one thing, but the next day be completely unsure?
Cold feet I guess.
Falling? Probably not.
Fallen? Probably not.
Being pushed? Yeah, probably.
If I had a choice of being the one to tell you you're ugly, or sit there watching 100 people tell you?
(I'D CHOOSE BOTH)
I guess cruel is just a natural human attribute. Pardon me for being correct, but I think humans have no better manners than animals at times.
Im going through an awkward phase
So many things just don't seem like that big of a deal anymore. While others seem like the end of my world.
I'm kind of tired of hearing things I don't understand.
I'm kind of tired of hearing the same old shit from the same old people.
I'm tired of getting the same reaction from everyone.
I'm tired of telling people things, when I know they don't care.
I'm tired of venting to myself like this, truthfully, its not really working.
I am tired of having relationship problems, feeling like a victim of reality that just never seems real.
I'm tired of seeing people get joy out of little things, when it takes so much to bring me joy.
I want a valentine to spend 100 dollars on.
I want someone who will always think im pretty . I hate being the person that's only there for a catcher of emotion.
Things build up, you know?
I'm going through an awkward phase.
Confusion is the first thing to be dealt with. Common sense? Next.
Playdo is what I feel like. Everyone molding me to what they expect. Leaving their fingerprints in me.
If I could knock sense into peoples heads, I would.
Sit them down, and knock the fucking sense into their head. With a hammer.
The expression "learn to live with it", does that mean learn from it?
Cause to me, that means ignore it, and don't let it affect your daily life. Hard to do? Well YEAH.
But I don't think anyone should live with that expression. I think that everything happens, and it should be an equal part of your life.
Back to the puzzle, making it correspondent to the other things that have happened.
Falling in love is a learning experience. A big one.
A hurtful one.
It can make you or break you, and than eventually make you after you break.
Win-win situation.
I just don't think anyone should let go of any memories, or learning experiences
Everyone has someone out there for them, right?
Do we seek? Or should I let my person just sort of gravitate towards me?
I don't know if waitng for that works. People are impatient. That's probably why there is divorce.
Because people mold their emotions into what they want to feel, its stealthy
I'm going through an awkard phase
I find myself missing you, when im not really supposed too.
I find I want what I really can not have and if I get something I want, I get slowly uninterested…
Than I want something else.
I just don't have strong will power I guess.
When people say things wont change it secretly means everything possible will change
If you lack strength is it true you also lack will power?
I wouldn't know, I have neither.
Isnt it weird how when you want things to change they don't, but when you are satisfied with your life, its bound to change anyways?
But obviously things can really only go one way.
I know people can be pretty stuck up sometimes too.
Think they've got what exactly they don't have.
When you need something, it can be available.
Just get off your lazy ass and get it.
Have you ever met a deaf person? They are extremely blunt, they say what they feel like saying.
Its refreshing. Nice to have someone so honest. Why cant we all be like that?
Just another of our many flaws.
Why is everyone so two faced?
It hurts to think you know someone, when you really don't. well.. you know one side.
I'm going through an awkward phase.
Love is a word being tossed around. Am I the only one afraid to use it? To admit full feelings?
Am I the only one who doesn't toss around lies?
Well im not gonna lie, girls are dramatic. They gossip and talk. And it doesn't get them friends. It blows off steam. But its no gain later.
If you think you know the people closest to you: RETHINK. The people who care about you most change
I'm going through an awkward phase.
I'm having detachment issues. I'm not making the right choices, or rather the healthy choices.
Intoxicating myself with fear and disappointment. How do you tell someone you've known all your life that they're hurting you?
What do I do if 'sorry' used to mean sorry, but now it means 'sorry I hurt you, but its just the way I am'
Am I the only one afraid to say something and everyone else is just dumb?
Or is everyone else hiding like me?
I'm going through an awkward phase.
I feel like the one person I know who will always love me,
Hates me,
Thinks I'm annoying
Would rather spend time with your significant other than me.
Is anyone noticing my call for help?
The people I turned to, don't look so comforting anymore.
I'm going through an awkward phase.
My priorities have completely changed in the past month,
Sex? Not so important.
Best friends? The most important.
It seems to be my compassion is getting in the way of me,
Getting what I want
I can be a pushover, but I can also be a horrible person.
Stubborn and out of control.
But who isn't?
finished on Friday, August 29, 2008
Lying to my parents is crucial.
Overanalyzing everything is crucial.
Girlfriends are the worst friends.
Teenager habits aren't just gross, but disgusting.
Being in love sounds right, but fucking around sounds better.
I seem to be trying to find my brighter side, but while seeking, becoming more negative.
Unity seems to be all that's important, but most of us are just MIA anyways. Unfortunately, if you aren't sexually active, you are making a faux pas.
Style seems as important as world hunger.
Dick size seems more important than heart size.
Being gay is no longer revolting to the community anymore. But, yes, 'gay' and 'faggot' are still insults.
Having a boyfriend in high school means nothing.
But dating someone socially acceptable does.
Being socially accepted is like a strive for water in a desert .
Fawning over on person is now creepy, no longer flattering.
Staying awake seems to be difficult.
The strive to be heartfelt and warm is almost like trying to get a teacher to forget about politics.
If one thing is important, it's the way we understand each other. Or maybe the way we all connect and are so correspondent to each other that its almost like a puzzle.
There are simple pleasures in peoples lives.
Like a bowl of ice cream, or a glass of water after running, or a blanket when its just a little below comfortable temperature.
As humans, its natural to want completely unnecessary things
Unfortunately, has humans we don't really have moral limitations
So, unfortunately, we get every little thing we ask for.
Its as if we don't have a reason to not pay attention.
No reason to question
Im going through an awkward phase.
I'm immune to drugs, now more than ever
And unfortunately immune doesn't mean intimidated by
Right now, whatever feels good, must be right
There are fuck buddies, and hardcore commitment
But sadly no in between.
You could never guess my age at first glance.
If I could get my purity back, I wouldn't.
For example of my sympathy, a disaster is only that bad IF you make it bad.
Don't tell me secrets, tell me words that make sense.
Tell me things that are open and not ashamed
To make a production, hat its supposed to be
You need dedication, talent, self discipline, and moral limitations.
Whats the difference between self discipline and moral limitations? Truthfully none.
The only reason we have moral limitations is because a scale of confidence vulnerability is the reason some people have no confidence.
The higher confidence you have, the higher your moral limitations are set. Something to think about;
If you think of yourself as santa claus, always giving, but no taking, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
If you think of yourself like an airess, always taking and no giving, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
If you need a motivation to someone, (a certain appearance, an attidute, or even a way of thinking) there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.
If you are a human, who read these thoughts, and considered yourself lacking of those flaws. There isn't just something seriously wrong with you, you're just messed up.
Im going through and awkward phase.
Every strange circumstance is just a happening of my misconceptions
A result of my miscalculations, forget about plans, but don't go unstructured
Has our cilization grown?
Sure ill give you that. But if it weren't for a random natural disaster or a murder for our community to just bounce back into reality and realize we have imperfections. And there are other people that need assistance?
That like us, have flaws, but they're life affecting flaws, ones that they can't help.
Not necessarily personal flaws, but wordly flaws.
If you feel ashamed, its not worth it.
If your neck hurts, stop looking down so much.
If your legs hurt, stop overrunning.
And if your back hurts, stop bending over everyday.
If your knees hurt, simply stop falling over so much
Maybe, can emotions be an optical illusion? Could you be feeling one thing, but the next day be completely unsure?
Cold feet I guess.
Falling? Probably not.
Fallen? Probably not.
Being pushed? Yeah, probably.
If I had a choice of being the one to tell you you're ugly, or sit there watching 100 people tell you?
(I'D CHOOSE BOTH)
I guess cruel is just a natural human attribute. Pardon me for being correct, but I think humans have no better manners than animals at times.
Im going through an awkward phase
So many things just don't seem like that big of a deal anymore. While others seem like the end of my world.
I'm kind of tired of hearing things I don't understand.
I'm kind of tired of hearing the same old shit from the same old people.
I'm tired of getting the same reaction from everyone.
I'm tired of telling people things, when I know they don't care.
I'm tired of venting to myself like this, truthfully, its not really working.
I am tired of having relationship problems, feeling like a victim of reality that just never seems real.
I'm tired of seeing people get joy out of little things, when it takes so much to bring me joy.
I want a valentine to spend 100 dollars on.
I want someone who will always think im pretty . I hate being the person that's only there for a catcher of emotion.
Things build up, you know?
I'm going through an awkward phase.
Confusion is the first thing to be dealt with. Common sense? Next.
Playdo is what I feel like. Everyone molding me to what they expect. Leaving their fingerprints in me.
If I could knock sense into peoples heads, I would.
Sit them down, and knock the fucking sense into their head. With a hammer.
The expression "learn to live with it", does that mean learn from it?
Cause to me, that means ignore it, and don't let it affect your daily life. Hard to do? Well YEAH.
But I don't think anyone should live with that expression. I think that everything happens, and it should be an equal part of your life.
Back to the puzzle, making it correspondent to the other things that have happened.
Falling in love is a learning experience. A big one.
A hurtful one.
It can make you or break you, and than eventually make you after you break.
Win-win situation.
I just don't think anyone should let go of any memories, or learning experiences
Everyone has someone out there for them, right?
Do we seek? Or should I let my person just sort of gravitate towards me?
I don't know if waitng for that works. People are impatient. That's probably why there is divorce.
Because people mold their emotions into what they want to feel, its stealthy
I'm going through an awkard phase
I find myself missing you, when im not really supposed too.
I find I want what I really can not have and if I get something I want, I get slowly uninterested…
Than I want something else.
I just don't have strong will power I guess.
When people say things wont change it secretly means everything possible will change
If you lack strength is it true you also lack will power?
I wouldn't know, I have neither.
Isnt it weird how when you want things to change they don't, but when you are satisfied with your life, its bound to change anyways?
But obviously things can really only go one way.
I know people can be pretty stuck up sometimes too.
Think they've got what exactly they don't have.
When you need something, it can be available.
Just get off your lazy ass and get it.
Have you ever met a deaf person? They are extremely blunt, they say what they feel like saying.
Its refreshing. Nice to have someone so honest. Why cant we all be like that?
Just another of our many flaws.
Why is everyone so two faced?
It hurts to think you know someone, when you really don't. well.. you know one side.
I'm going through an awkward phase.
Love is a word being tossed around. Am I the only one afraid to use it? To admit full feelings?
Am I the only one who doesn't toss around lies?
Well im not gonna lie, girls are dramatic. They gossip and talk. And it doesn't get them friends. It blows off steam. But its no gain later.
If you think you know the people closest to you: RETHINK. The people who care about you most change
I'm going through an awkward phase.
I'm having detachment issues. I'm not making the right choices, or rather the healthy choices.
Intoxicating myself with fear and disappointment. How do you tell someone you've known all your life that they're hurting you?
What do I do if 'sorry' used to mean sorry, but now it means 'sorry I hurt you, but its just the way I am'
Am I the only one afraid to say something and everyone else is just dumb?
Or is everyone else hiding like me?
I'm going through an awkward phase.
I feel like the one person I know who will always love me,
Hates me,
Thinks I'm annoying
Would rather spend time with your significant other than me.
Is anyone noticing my call for help?
The people I turned to, don't look so comforting anymore.
I'm going through an awkward phase.
My priorities have completely changed in the past month,
Sex? Not so important.
Best friends? The most important.
It seems to be my compassion is getting in the way of me,
Getting what I want
I can be a pushover, but I can also be a horrible person.
Stubborn and out of control.
But who isn't?
finished on Friday, August 29, 2008
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