and even if i could stop time

I probably wouldn't.

where am I going?

The World

is spinning faster than i can control.

My hands are like butter, slipping on the grip.

I wish I knew what to do in my life, but really im stuck.

I know what I want, but I dont think that its best.

since when do i give a fuck about whats best?

"my mind moves like a freeway, fast as hell."

how do i catch up with myself?

or better yet...

how do i catch up with those around me?

Time

consumes me,

I'm ready for this year to go by. I want to surround myself with new people.

I want my freedom, I want my food stamps, I want my old anarchist self back.

reduce, reuse, recycle.

High school: you have literally eaten me alive. My morals have stayed the same, but my mouth has become a giant door, locked.

I want to scream, I want to say what I'm thinking.

I don't know what happened, I used to not give a shit.

If my mind was frustrated, It was announced with words and body actions.

what happened over the course of 3 years, why do I care?

I just want to love myself again, and I don't need anyones help but my own.

Hello,

Everywhere I go, it tends to be this and that.

Of course I'm wrong, I mean I have to be.

Every time I turn I know it's you I see.

I can't help but stare until your image goes away.

Every day I can't help but wish I didn't stick up for myself.

Make the right choice, maybe?

Everything I own is in question now, 

It's not the same. So why not get rid of it?

Every way I do things seems to be inept.

My social skills come off well, but in the end they are short.

Every flaw I have, you seem to notice.

I don't think I've ever felt worse about myself,

Every wish I've ever made, never came true.

My wish was to have you, look how that turned out.

to be honest i dont even know how to end this

Oh Highschool,

why cant you be shorter.

Dear Prick,

I cant believe i fucking went for it.
I mean everything that ever came out of your mouth,
was a fucking lie.
I can't ever trust you again,
i dont think you ever loved me,

I think you still love her.
In a sort of screwed up way that i guess
i "will never understand" says you.

All those nights i spent falling for you,
you probably didnt feel quite the same.
Im not sure what your initial intentions were,
but they didn't really end the way i expected.

you are telling people you want to
make things work with me,
then why the HELL havent you
taken initial.

Im hurt,
tworn in two.
this is a really bitter experience for me.
Maybe I'll learn from it,
and maybe you will.
but probably not.


Love your Ex lover

Ashlyn

ps. you are an asshole